I've Moved

You can find me - and my interiors! - over here. The door's open so please drop in!

Pastor's Blog

Every week there's a new "Pastor's Blog" on our church's website, and recently the rotation fell to me again. I've opted to include it here.

I prayed about what to share in this blog today. There are so many options. I heard the Lord’s answer to my wondering --> “It doesn’t matter what you write about, but it HAS to be REAL.” Real? I find that most people are not up for ‘real.’ It can be dangerous and offensive and ugly. However, I also think it’s truly one of the most ATTRACTIVE things in this whole wide world. I’m D-R-A-W-N to people who are REAL. I NEED people who risk being real so that I can risk being real alongside them – in the light of their imperfections, in the comfort of their compassion – with the impossible hope that just being the ‘present day broken me’ is enough … because we all know how exhausting it is to constantly try to be that ‘someday more perfect me.’

There’s no one else in the whole world like me. That’s what I’ve been certain of for most of my life. Now, if you’re an especially positive person you might be thinking “Oh, Tami. Of course you’re unique and wonderful and God made you exactly that way on purpose.” I hear you. I really do. However, when it comes to SELF-evaluation I’m NEVER that ‘especially positive person.’ Nope. I regularly judge, condemn, ridicule, compare and condemn my SELF.

REAL – in no particular order -->

• 3rd grade was the first time I remember thinking “I’m fat.” I’ve been convinced of it ever since.
• In college I thought bulimic behavior might be the answer to my ‘fat’ problem.
• I don’t remember the first word any of our children spoke. “What kind of mom am I?”
• The seasons of deepest intimacy I’ve had with the Lord, in some ways, haunt me today. There’s a reputation of old that I feel like I need to live up to, but I don’t. I feel like I’m lying to everyone.
• Our home is most usually in a state of “fair” – never clean, never disgusting. Right now the sink (and counter) is overflowing with dirty dishes. “How come everybody else can keep their house clean?"
• The deck hasn’t been painted for years ~ Most of the boards are bare and twisting. And that’s just the beginning of a l-o-n-g list that makes me feel like a bad steward.
• None of my kids have memorized the books of the Bible. Yet another l-o-n-g list beginning that makes me feel like a spiritually failing parent.

Isn’t it sad that pieces of my REALITY are based in lies and fears? I’m fat. I’m a bad mom. I’m a fake disciple. I’m a terrible homemaker. I’m an unfaithful steward. I’ve spiritually failed my family. I can’t manage my time. It’s not pretty, but it really IS what I struggle with EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Christ is the Way.

Christ is the Truth.

Christ is the Life.

And I need ALL of those things – I need Him – EVERY SINGLE DAY. He is the WAY of my salvation. He is the TRUTH that defeats my old lies. He is the LIFE I am learning to live.

Book Review Friday: 2 Samuel 12-15

I must say, that "only" one thing jumped INTO me this week, but it was straight from the Lord and you know how D-E-E-P He can cause His Word to jump.

2 Samuel 12:7-8
This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.'

It's a very long story, but - in short - the Lord is birthing a healing ministry at our church, which will come forth under my leadership. I was feeling completely and utterly inadequate to conduct the initial "info meeting" on Sunday. What was I to say? There are still so many unknowns. There was a fear rising up in me and that's when the Lord broke through with His Word, fed my heart, and transformed my being.

If all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.

Though our situations are vastly different, I heard the same God that David did. The One who is faithful to provide for the ministry He's called us to. I could create a substantial list of the details the Lord has given for this ministry - not the least of which is its name, BRING THEM TO ME Ministries (from Mark 9) - and though there truly is much that I have yet to know, I DO have enough to go forward in the confidence of His presence, perfection, provision and faithfulness.

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This week in God's Word and presence was transforming. It corrected my perspective and enabled me to lead His people with TRUTH. Glory to Him!

(this post was originally much longer, but I lost it into the swirl of cyberspace and am now summarizing even further ...)

Lesson One - I AM Your Beauty (Just In Time)

This is the first 'blogger' study I've enrolled in. It seemed fantastic for women recovering from "I have to be and do everything" syndrome, like myself. Lisa's written a beautiful study and I'm glad to be nourished by Him through it.

Upon finishing this first study (as well as the introduction) the Lord really wrapped it all together for me with Psalm 106:20-21
"They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt."
which Cheryl expounded on here.

What things am I exchanging my beauty and glory for? He has adorned me with beauty, but when (and WHY?!) do I sometimes change my "clothes?"

• Pride - "I think I "look better" in this."
• Envy - "What they have looks so much better."
• Lack of Patience - "But I can have this now."
• Fear - "If I don't take care of myself, who will?"
• On and on my list can go ... the whens whys & hows of my missing out on beauty beyond my vastest imagination and deepest longings. Then He brings me back again - offering His beauty.

Here are the official study questions -->

Are there any circumstances or relationships in your life where you can see God has intentionally placed you to be a light for Him? Yes. Oh yes. The healing ministry at our church, called Bring Them To Me Ministries - it's coming to life through my ministry (by His authorship & leading, OF COURSE!). He's ready to heal His people - to set them free from all kinds of sicknesses (not just physical) - and He's equipping me with faith enough to walk beside Him and lead others to the same place.

Can you honestly describe yourself as a woman with a 'yes' in her spirit? Not always. Sometimes my four year old rules - crossing her arms, stopping her feet, and not budging for anyone. Unfortunately the grown up version of her can stay that way for months and months.

Are you in an emotionally and spiritually healthy place today? Yes. If so, what will you do with your series of unrecurring events? I'm purposing to live in freedom and reckless faith. It's harder than living by the rules, but He's proven to me over and over again that's it GREATER.

Will you commit to ask for spiritual eyes to see opportunities to defend a weaker sister? I have no preferences - sister, brother or otherwise. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female. I commit to Christ and the life of love He wants to live through me. Praise to the Holy Spirit for giving us wisdom from Heaven, eyes to see, and ears to hear. May I forever be growing in attentiveness and surrender to Him.

Book Review Friday

I'm a participant of Book Review Friday over at Watch The Sky. All this week we've been reading the book of Galatians, over and over again, digging for details, insights, etc.

Galatians has long been one of my favorite books of the Bible. FREEDOM is its anthem - found in Christ (Luke 4:17-21) and Truth (John 8:32), and "simply" for freedom's sake (Gal. 5:1). It IS ours. It HAS been given to each person who names Christ as Lord. Problem is, we're constantly compromising it and giving it away - or worse, taking it away from others. In my ministry and life, you'll find the freedom anthem as well - not above Christ, but because of Christ.

I could go on and on about freedom. He and I share a holy fury against those who shackle the Lord's people, and while I'll leave the judgments to God, I'm committed (because He called me) to "set His people free" - turns out it's not just a ministry for Moses. My favorite Oswald Chambers quote is "Never make a principle out of your experience. Let God be as original with others as he has been with you." This is where the saddest part of shackling occurs - in the Church. Those of us who've come to know the Trinity in personal and beautiful ways draw the destructive conclusion that how we know Him must be the ONLY way He can be known. My God is MUCH MORE dynamic and intimate than that. One of the most beautiful aspects of the Body of Christ is that WE - together - emulate the FULLNESS of Christ. (Eph. 1:22-23) We're richer and freer when we celebrate the multitudinous expressions of Christ's love, passion, conviction exhibited in others, than when we expect and demand Christ to look identical in each person.

These are the three points that most jumped out in my reading this week:

• Paul says two times in a row, repeating himself one verse right after the other (1:8 & 1:9) "If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned." Looks like Paul shared that HOLY FURY for FREEDOM as well. God is FIERCE in His love for His children ~ "It'd be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned ..." (Matt 18:6) But what else would you expect? These are SOULS and what's at stake is ETERNITY. Lead them astray by pulling their focus away from knowing God & Jesus (see John 17:3) and you can expect eternal condemnation. Ouch!! In my opinion, there are some big name, big money, lots of books preachers who's eternal futures are likely far from the prosperity they've enjoyed on Earth.
• Galatians 3:1-9. Read it for yourself. KNOW IT for yourself. "After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" All too often, I am. It's Scripture and the presence of God constantly aligning me back into the Spirit that is my daily salvation.
• Galatians 3:17. How glorious this is!! The time BEFORE the law. 430 years before the ten commandments was Abraham and his faith, and therefore His righteousness. The law was given to illuminate our need for Christ and to guide us into dependence on Him. (Gal. 3:24) Christ has returned us to the time of Abraham, the time before the law, the time of being justified by faith alone. The time of relationship. The time of KNOWING Him. No wonder the "lost" have a hard time believing and embracing it --- it truly does sound too marvelous to be true. And so we PRAISE Him.

(Gal. 5:1) "STAND FIRM, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" and, if I may add, 'and God forbid that we might place burdens of slavery on anyone else.'

Book Review Friday

I recently started participating in Book Review Friday over at Watch The Sky. All this week we were reading 1 Samuel 27 - 31, over and over again, digging for details, insights, etc. More than anything, when I'm reading the Bible I'm digging for God. It's my practice not to focus on what's going on, but rather on WHO'S going on - which almost always uncovers a lot more of God's character than I would've seen otherwise. Notice I said "usually."
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This week was the first time in a l-o-n-g time that I saw very little of God. There was LOTS of everybody else

• David thinking to "himself" (27:1)
• David's lying over and over again (27)
• Saul's terror over the Philistine invasion and his seeking the Lord (28:5-6), but the Lord did not answer
• Saul's decision to call up the dead prophet Samuel via the Witch of Endor (28:8-19) - By the way, it always disturbs me that it worked!
• Samuel telling Saul that tomorrow "you and your sons will be with me." (28:19) "With me" where? Does he mean joining the dead, or in Heaven, or what? It couldn't be that Saul was headed for Heaven, right? I mean, the Lord had removed His presence from Saul. I didn't dig too deeply on this issue, but the Amplified Translation adds "[among the dead]".
• David DID seek the Lord in Ch. 30 when deciding to pursue the Amelikites, and trusted His promise of success.

Though I didn't find much that penetrated into my soul this week - and let me just confess that it's been a very funky week for me, feeling scattered and shallow, so I'm sure that had something to do with it - it was still good to have STAYED in the Scriptures and know in faith that the Lord never wastes His Words!
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It's also strengthening to realize AGAIN that no matter the foolishness of His people, God's purposes will never be left undone. I am one of His foolish daughters, oft distracted from the most important. And yet, He's faithful over and over again to correct me, renew me, love me, and walk with me.

We're turning to Galatians now. It'd be GREAT if you joined us!!

Family Devotions

Around here, Sunday nights are for Family Devotions. Tonight we read about King Josiah (2 Kings 22). Our youngest Munchkin is 8 yrs. old so there was quite a bit of imaginative discussion about what it'd be like to be "king" at her age. The Engineer is also reading us through Quest For Celestia by Steven James. Those are the good and triumphant facts.
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We also have some significant Family Devotion struggles. Primarily, there've been numerous "off and on" seasons. The reasons are multiple, but ultimately convicting. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." As parents we both revere the Lord and His Word, though our methods of 'impressing them on our children' are almost at opposite ends of the spectrum. While we each excel in our own preferences during our own times with the girls, we have to LABOR at finding methods that work when all five of us are together. I'm NOT offering excuses - just sharing our struggles.
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Simply --> During the "on" seasons we've labored through it, and during our "off" seasons, we haven't.