I've Moved

You can find me - and my interiors! - over here. The door's open so please drop in!

Pastor's Blog

Every week there's a new "Pastor's Blog" on our church's website, and recently the rotation fell to me again. I've opted to include it here.

I prayed about what to share in this blog today. There are so many options. I heard the Lord’s answer to my wondering --> “It doesn’t matter what you write about, but it HAS to be REAL.” Real? I find that most people are not up for ‘real.’ It can be dangerous and offensive and ugly. However, I also think it’s truly one of the most ATTRACTIVE things in this whole wide world. I’m D-R-A-W-N to people who are REAL. I NEED people who risk being real so that I can risk being real alongside them – in the light of their imperfections, in the comfort of their compassion – with the impossible hope that just being the ‘present day broken me’ is enough … because we all know how exhausting it is to constantly try to be that ‘someday more perfect me.’

There’s no one else in the whole world like me. That’s what I’ve been certain of for most of my life. Now, if you’re an especially positive person you might be thinking “Oh, Tami. Of course you’re unique and wonderful and God made you exactly that way on purpose.” I hear you. I really do. However, when it comes to SELF-evaluation I’m NEVER that ‘especially positive person.’ Nope. I regularly judge, condemn, ridicule, compare and condemn my SELF.

REAL – in no particular order -->

• 3rd grade was the first time I remember thinking “I’m fat.” I’ve been convinced of it ever since.
• In college I thought bulimic behavior might be the answer to my ‘fat’ problem.
• I don’t remember the first word any of our children spoke. “What kind of mom am I?”
• The seasons of deepest intimacy I’ve had with the Lord, in some ways, haunt me today. There’s a reputation of old that I feel like I need to live up to, but I don’t. I feel like I’m lying to everyone.
• Our home is most usually in a state of “fair” – never clean, never disgusting. Right now the sink (and counter) is overflowing with dirty dishes. “How come everybody else can keep their house clean?"
• The deck hasn’t been painted for years ~ Most of the boards are bare and twisting. And that’s just the beginning of a l-o-n-g list that makes me feel like a bad steward.
• None of my kids have memorized the books of the Bible. Yet another l-o-n-g list beginning that makes me feel like a spiritually failing parent.

Isn’t it sad that pieces of my REALITY are based in lies and fears? I’m fat. I’m a bad mom. I’m a fake disciple. I’m a terrible homemaker. I’m an unfaithful steward. I’ve spiritually failed my family. I can’t manage my time. It’s not pretty, but it really IS what I struggle with EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Christ is the Way.

Christ is the Truth.

Christ is the Life.

And I need ALL of those things – I need Him – EVERY SINGLE DAY. He is the WAY of my salvation. He is the TRUTH that defeats my old lies. He is the LIFE I am learning to live.

Book Review Friday: 2 Samuel 12-15

I must say, that "only" one thing jumped INTO me this week, but it was straight from the Lord and you know how D-E-E-P He can cause His Word to jump.

2 Samuel 12:7-8
This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.'

It's a very long story, but - in short - the Lord is birthing a healing ministry at our church, which will come forth under my leadership. I was feeling completely and utterly inadequate to conduct the initial "info meeting" on Sunday. What was I to say? There are still so many unknowns. There was a fear rising up in me and that's when the Lord broke through with His Word, fed my heart, and transformed my being.

If all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.

Though our situations are vastly different, I heard the same God that David did. The One who is faithful to provide for the ministry He's called us to. I could create a substantial list of the details the Lord has given for this ministry - not the least of which is its name, BRING THEM TO ME Ministries (from Mark 9) - and though there truly is much that I have yet to know, I DO have enough to go forward in the confidence of His presence, perfection, provision and faithfulness.

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This week in God's Word and presence was transforming. It corrected my perspective and enabled me to lead His people with TRUTH. Glory to Him!

(this post was originally much longer, but I lost it into the swirl of cyberspace and am now summarizing even further ...)